Wild Heart Retreat

Wild Heart Painting Retreat
with Chris Zydel at Ghost Ranch, NM
September 10-15, 2000
Sunday, 9/10: Despite Hawk’s Warning on Sept. 6th, I felt very light and happy to be in “the Land of Enchantment” at Ghost Ranch, and excited about the retreat. The land is beautiful with red cliffs surrounding a small valley, and the Moon was full.
I had several conversations with other women who were feeling what Hawk expressed: that we have past some kind of point of no return here on Earth and serious consequences are coming soon.
Monday, 9/11: I woke with a dream of an old, red wolf, lonely and lost in suburbia, no place for him anymore. (Lost Wolf)
I painted Mother Earth with wind swirling above her. Machines are scraping out roads, freeways, carving out lots for businesses and homes. Blood is dripping from these gouges in Her skin. A car pollutes the air as the driver chases a dollar sign. The lost wolf from my dream wanders in suburbia. A forest has price tags on each tree. A large dollar sign covers Mother Earth’s nose and mouth.
A woman saw my painting and started to cry. Only then did I feel the emotional impact of my painting. I felt sad for the Earth, the animals, the trees.
Tuesday, 9/12: I was in deep tears about the plight of our Earth and how scared I am about the consequences Hawk foretold. It was a relief when others expressed similar feelings. I offered to hold a prayer ceremony for Mother Earth.
Wednesday, 9/13: Four women joined me and we hiked up Box Canyon, which is shady, rocky, and beautiful, with a creek running down it. In a small side canyon with a tiny waterfall and pool, I led a prayer ceremony: smudging with cedar, calling in the Directions, chanting:
Ancient Mother, I hear you calling.
Ancient Mother, I hear your song.
Ancient Mother, I hear your laughter.
Ancient Mother, I taste your tears.
Composer Unknown
Julia, who works with plant medicine, sang a beautiful grief chant she received from a Ceanothus plant. Each of us offered a heart-felt prayer for Mother Earth. Then we sang a closing chant and opened the circle.
We hiked further up the red rock canyon. At the end, where the cliffs come together in a feminine cleft, there was a still pool of light green water. It is a beautiful, sacred place. We all lay on a rock slab together, looking up at red cliffs and blue sky, and singing chants and songs. It was delightful and healing! I felt renewed, very glad and full.


Thursday, 9/14: The painting continued to evolve. In the upper third, there appeared a large black bird carrying a golden heart of love and healing to Mother Earth, and a large eye-shaped opening to the Universe, a symbol of Cosmic Unity.
Friday, 9/15: Below Mother Earth, a cave appeared with Mother Earth’s tears and blood dripping down into the underground waters of the cave. A large black Bear Shaman is weaving magic out of Her tears and blood.
Continue to: Lost Wolf
Continue to: Bear Shaman
Wild Heart Painting Retreat
with Chris Zydel at Ghost Ranch, NM
September 10-15, 2000
Sunday, 9/10: Despite Hawk’s Warning on Sept. 6th, I felt very light and happy to be in “the Land of Enchantment” at Ghost Ranch, and excited about the retreat. The land is beautiful with red cliffs surrounding a small valley, and the Moon was full.
I had several conversations with other women who were feeling what Hawk expressed: that we have past some kind of point of no return here on Earth and serious consequences are coming soon.
Monday, 9/11: I woke with a dream of an old, red wolf, lonely and lost in suburbia, no place for him anymore. (Lost Wolf)
I painted Mother Earth with wind swirling above her. Machines are scraping out roads, freeways, carving out lots for businesses and homes. Blood is dripping from these gouges in Her skin. A car pollutes the air as the driver chases a dollar sign. The lost wolf from my dream wanders in suburbia. A forest has price tags on each tree. A large dollar sign covers Mother Earth’s nose and mouth.
A woman saw my painting and started to cry. Only then did I feel the emotional impact of my painting. I felt sad for the Earth, the animals, the trees.
Tuesday, 9/12: I was in deep tears about the plight of our Earth and how scared I am about the consequences Hawk foretold. It was a relief when others expressed similar feelings. I offered to hold a prayer ceremony for Mother Earth.
Wednesday, 9/13: Four women joined me and we hiked up Box Canyon, which is shady, rocky, and beautiful, with a creek running down it. In a small side canyon with a tiny waterfall and pool, I led a prayer ceremony: smudging with cedar, calling in the Directions, chanting:
Ancient Mother, I hear you calling.
Ancient Mother, I hear your song.
Ancient Mother, I hear your laughter.
Ancient Mother, I taste your tears.
Composer Unknown
Julia, who works with plant medicine, sang a beautiful grief chant she received from a Ceanothus plant. Each of us offered a heart-felt prayer for Mother Earth. Then we sang a closing chant and opened the circle.
We hiked further up the red rock canyon. At the end, where the cliffs come together in a feminine cleft, there was a still pool of light green water. It is a beautiful, sacred place. We all lay on a rock slab together, looking up at red cliffs and blue sky, and singing chants and songs. It was delightful and healing! I felt renewed, very glad and full.
Thursday, 9/14: The painting continued to evolve. In the upper third, there appeared a large black bird carrying a golden heart of love and healing to Mother Earth, and a large eye-shaped opening to the Universe, a symbol of Cosmic Unity.
Friday, 9/15: Below Mother Earth, a cave appeared with Mother Earth’s tears and blood dripping down into the underground waters of the cave. A large black Bear Shaman is weaving magic out of Her tears and blood.
Continue to: Lost Wolf
Continue to: Bear Shaman